Doing It On Purpose

First, a few comments about my uber amazing readers inspired by this week’s dialogue in Butch2Femme and Transitioning to Femme:
I nearly feel off my chaise lounge when I read LaurynX’s comment that she just came out as femme in the past few months. Holy mother of god! You, my dear, are going to be a [...]

The Feminist Fairytale about Butch/Femme

Does butch/femme reinforce traditional gender roles? Is it sexist? Misogynistic? Does being a femme mean that you’re a nurturing “little wife” who “stands by her butch?” A sex kitten who is required to perform an idealized fantasy of feminine perfection? Do butches and other transmasculine people get to “wear the [...]

What Makes (Me) a Femme

Long, long ago in a gender galaxy far, far away…
…I was butch!
I know what you’re thinking: how could your favorite ravishing femme queer theorist–who is typing these words with perfectly manicured red nails–have ever been butch? But it’s really true, my lovelies, I swear. I had Hilary Swank’s haircut in Boys Don’t Cry, [...]

No, I’m not a lipstick lesbian (I just look like one)

Yes, I adore lipstick and never met a MAC lipglass I didn’t like, but please, don’t call me a lipstick lesbian! I’m a femme.
What’s the difference, my pretty? Is there one? Clearly, it depends who you ask.
Here are my definitions of these terms, which are based on my own experience and how I have observed [...]

A lesbian looks like…Lindsay Lohan?

Is she or isn’t she?  That’s what The Advocate and everyone else is asking about Lindsay Lohan.  “Celeb mags are all agog,” Nicholas Fonseca writes in the Sept 9 issue.  “Lindsay is either lesbian, bisexual, or just another straight girl engaged in an elaborate–albeit genuis–publicity stunt.  But, really, what difference does it make?”
Genuis?  Really? Even Fonseca himself doesn’t [...]

What does a lesbian look like?

I’ve always loved discovering that beautiful, glamorous women are queer because it’s such a delightful surprise.  I certainly think that femmes are ”real” lesbians, but even I find that my gaydar is based on stereotypes most of the time.  In an effort to challenge these stereotypes, I offer up this iconic image of Greta Garbo, which asks (but does [...]