Femme Quiz

Check out Bodacious Broad’s You know you’re a femme if… (quirky queer quiz).  Here are her top 3…

You know you’re a femme if:

  1. Sephora.com is bookmarked on your computer
  2. Leaving your house without mascara on, is like social suicide
  3. You’d cancel an important job interview, before ever missing your weekly manicure

Read the rest over at Kiss and Kvell!

Re #1, YES–it’s part of my folder of beauty-related bookmarks 😉

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15 Responses

  1. Oh, I love it. I guess you want one of us butch types to do our version? lol! I’m way behind on my assignments, aren’t I? 🙂

    Well now that you mention it I would love that! And yes, you have been naughty about your homework. I may have to ask you to stay after school 😉 xo -SF

  2. Love it! and failed miserably… I guess my self awarded sport femme attidute will have to change to a more appropriate sport butch one… well after all life is an ever changing experience isn’t it? 😉

  3. unreasonably pleased with my zero.

  4. Uh-huh, and what will my punishment be? 🙂

  5. I’m surprised to see you touting this, since it’s the flip side of what I was talking about as far as a right way to be femme (which you responded to here). I definitely got between 1 and 5, but I’m still femme — a term which is not synonymous with the kind of high maintenance, shallow Manhattan straight girl I also can’t stand.

  6. My favorite bi-furious activist, Aviva, raised an important question about this quiz. I think the author, BB, is being ironic. I don’t think she really means that we lose femme points if we don’t have an insured cashmere collection. BB (who, by the way, is not a high maintenance, shallow Manhattan straight girl) says at the top of her the quiz that it is “tongue-in-cheek.”

    But I get you. It’s hard not to take these things seriously even when they’re meant to be a joke. For the record, I took the quiz myself. As I said on BB’s blog, my score is a 16 (not off the charts femme!).

    Here’s what I wrote to BB about some of the places I lost “femme points”: I do my nails myself but even if I didn’t, I would not miss an important job interview for a manicure appt. I have always had an antipathy for Glinda from the Wizard of Oz. (I’m all about The Wicked Witch). I wouldn’t hike in stilettos, are you kidding?! I don’t own a pink petticoat (um, what would I do with that?). I actually like opaque tights. I do not have a regular facialist, let alone one on speed dial. I think sweet drinks with umbrellas should be outlawed. I like a cocktail with a butch edge. xo Sf

  7. Thanks, for your understanding – SF! Yes, indeed – my quiz is “tongue-in-cheek!” Also, for the record – I live in a small town, and have never been to Manhattan. Please, let’s not take ourselves so “seriously,” that we can’t celebrate our femme-ininity and sensuality – with a little humor. Oy, I’m a comedy writer, I HAVE to be funny!

    BB
    p.s. I actually think that the Wicked Witch is much hotter, than Glinda – she’s sooo butch. I’d “do” her in a minute, but she’d have to clip those “talons,” first!

  8. I see what you mean. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t even see myself in the group of people who are making fun of themselves with this list. I don’t recognize myself in it enough even to find it funny. But I do see myself in femme. There are other things I say about myself to make fun of how ridiculously femme I am (six different eye makeup products! On one set of eyes!) but I don’t have much love for lists like this, since they define themselves by the people they leave out. But I always knew someday I’d get so political that it would affect my sense of humor; I guess that day has come.

    But humor is itself so political–whether or not it’s acknowledged, which I take it is your concern about this quiz’s definition of femme. My favorite comedians are the socially conscious, risk-taking ones who make you laugh in spite of the seriousness of the issues at stake. One last thing. Isn’t everything defined by exclusion/difference, not just “lists like this?” (E.g. “heterosexual” definitionally excludes “gay” and “bisexual.”) Thx for being a part of this discussion! xo -Sf

    PS I’m sure your eyes look very pretty 😉

  9. Hi Aviva:

    I appreciate your honesty, and input. I think that one of the reasons that I shy away from becoming too political, is ‘cuz I’m afraid of losing my sense of humor. It’s impossible to “please everybody,” with anything in life. And next week, I’ll probably offend some feminists with another quiz that I’m planning, called “You know you’re a feminist if…” This quiz will be a response to concerns, like yours. It still, may offend some folks – but maybe you’ll get a few chuckles – anyway.

    I agree with SF, about “socially conscious, risk-taking comedians.” Laughter is “serious” business, and you always run the”risk” of offending some folks. Even with knock-knock, or Jewish American Princess jokes.

    I’m also envious of your eye-makeup products. I’ve never put more than mascara, eye-liner and shadow on any eye, at any time! Maybe I should have consulted with you, before making my list. JOKE.

    BB
    p.s. I’m actually breaking a few of my own femme rules, this morning. I’m wearing sweatpants, and a schmatte that looks like something that my old, Aunt Ethel might’ve worn!

    I’m confused. You say you “shy away from being too political” and then go on to talk about JAP jokes!!! I would imagine that many people, like me, are offended by jokes about Jewish American Princesses because they see them as sexist, ethnic slurs. I know you’re Jewish yourself and I respect your right to tell such jokes on your blog, but please refrain from ethnic stereotyping and name-calling on on my site. I work hard to try to make this an inclusive and welcoming space. Thanks, SF

  10. Hi (again) Aviva:

    I needed that “first” cuppa joe, to fully function – today. I forgot to say, in my last response, that my “prescription” for a “sagging” sense of humor is reading Dr. Seuss. See, I probably brought just a slight, smirk to your face, by mentioned his name.

    Talk about funny AND politically incorrect! If you wanted to analyze, for example, “The Cat in the Hat,” you’d forbid ANY kids to read/hear it. Remember, how that chutzpadik cat, not only enters a stranger’s house, but also influences the children with his crazy, creative cleverness?

    I’d also suggest, that you read one of my previous posts, entitled “Boys will be (spelled) bois?” It may offend you, or give you more insights – into why, sometimes – being too “pc” is deathly dull. You also might enjoy reading my poem “Green Eggs and Spam,” for a few yuks.

    BB
    p.s. Because I’m such an alliteration “freak,” I want to amend my previous statement about “doing” the Wicked Witch – and change it to “clip her ‘claws!'” She’d also, have to wipe the green schmutz off – ‘cuz it’d stain my silk slip!

  11. I’m not surprised with my result of needing to have ellementary education. I’m a bad, bad femme and I need a good butch to punish me. 😉

    Not my fault I came to femmeness late in life so I have like the andro wardrobe from heck. I swear.

    Lucy

  12. I wanted to aplogize, if any of my previous comments, offended anyone. Thanks, SF – for graciously pointing out, that I may have (inadvertently) been offensive. I didn’t mean to suggest that I think that ANY kind of ethnic/racial “joke” is kosher. I think, perhaps, although I’m a writer – that I didn’t clearly articulate what I was actually attempting to say.

    BB

  13. okay, i finally got around to it.
    3! i’ll pass on the crewcut (god forbid!) but i can rock the toolbelt

    notably, it was the three having to do with finding butch girls swoony.

  14. Holy shit, I’m a whopping 9.

    I’m giving myself an extra point because I marched 3 miles in SF on Friday night in 4.5″ heels. Word.

    Holy shit, you deserve 5 points for that!! xo -SF

  15. But, SF, I was a PERFECT 10! Femme-on-femme crime! I’m telling!

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