In Praise of Fishnets


 “Hon,” I asked coyly after dinner last night, “what did I wear on our first date?”   Van replied right away, “Fishnets.  A push-up bra.  And a shirt that tied up the front, which I imagined untying all night long.”

We periodically play this game.  Our first date was many years ago, and the more time that passes, the sexier my outfit becomes in Van’s recounting of it.   For the record, I did really wear a biker chick, lace-front black bustier that was part of my out & proud bi femme/pro-sex feminist gear back in the day.   (I was one of those faux bisexuals who was annoyed by men who expressed interest in me at  potlucks or pride marches.  Sorry boys!) 

But I didn’t even own a push-up bra back then and I most certainly did not wear fishnets on our first date!   Still, no matter how often I say it, Van doesn’t believe me.  In fact, when we debated this for the upteenth time last night, she insisted that I wore fishnets on all of our early dates.   In a few more years she’ll have me topless!  I did wear fishnets once, though, either on date #2 or 3; obviously, they made a big impression.  Who knows, maybe I have them to thank for “catching” the love of my life?  😉

Nowdays, fishnets are still a part of my hosiery wardrobe, although I tend to wear variations on the traditional fishnet, like black micronet tights (with skirts) or knee-hi’s in a neutral color like beige (with pants), because they’re fun but still appropriate to wear to work.  But I do have a confession.   Although I hate to admit it, I’m starting to think that any sort of fishnet, no matter how subtle, needs to be worn with caution.   For example, I had a student write “Love the fishnets!” (among other inappropriate comments about my appearance) on a course evaluation.  I was pissed. 

“But I never even taught in fishnets!” I protested to Van afterwards.  “Maybe once or twice during the winter I wore  micronet tights with a skirt and boots, but my students could barely have seen them–at most just a glimpse of my knees in the tights!”  Clearly, fishnets are so eye-catching that a mere glimpse is more than enough to get people’s attention.  Girls, consider yourself warned!


3 Responses

  1. OMG I love some fishnets! For the opening of the BENT LA artshow that I curated this year…I wore the most amazing outfit…Black satin shorts, fishnets, black vest, green shirt, gold peeptoe pumps and a gold hat…I know it sounds weird..I should post a pix on my blog…it was AMAZING! So yeah…I love them..but like you, I also think that they should be used in moderation…

  2. I feel like fishnets are something I wear easily as a lesbian, but veered far, far away from before I knew it. Almost as if I embrace what they mean now, where I abhorred them for parallel reasons when I still thought myself straight.

    It’s odd, a little. Anyway!

    I wore some very fancy pinstriped trousers the night the tomboy and I met. With heels, of course. She loved/loves that. (We have a similar version of the game, where I ask silly questions I’ve asked a hundred times and she answers the same answers a hundred times! Dreamy.)

    I don’t think that’s odd at all, SBJ, because fishnets signify differently depending on context. Re the dreaminess, by the time you reach your 10th anniversary I guarantee you the answers will no longer be the same, so write that stuff down now! xo SF

  3. I wear fishnets all the time everywhere from work and trips to the market to fetish nights where I dress as a dominatrix.. I am in my early 50 and have great legs and love showing them off. I wear usually black, beige, or white, depending where I am going. But regardless, they always attract attention and comments. When another woman comments on them, I often tell her she should wear them too

    Wow, good for you! Now why is it that I never run into women like you at the grocery store?! xo -SF

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