To You, Wonderful Femmes

Dear grrlchef, sarcozona, Lady Brett Ashley, Skinny Bone Jones, the hostess, LaurynX and my other fantastic readers,  

To the wonderful femmes named, you have no idea how much I appreciate your encouraging comments on my last post, “Social Justice and Cute Shoes.”  It’s so fantastic for me to be able to convey the diversity and complexity of my interests and commitments–to convey all of who I am–and discover, much to my delight, that these are interests, concerns, and commitments that I share with so many of you. 

There’s something else all of you probably have no idea about–how often I come up with an idea for a post or am in the middle of writing up an idea and think to myself, “This one will never fly. It’s too theoretical, or it’s too serious, or…”  The other day, I thought to myself that I wouldn’t get much of a response to my Martin Luther King/social justice post, because–good god–I’m talking about racism, imperialism and economic inequality!  Does anyone really come to Sublimefemme Unbound for that?!

I wish I could name everyone who’s been commenting lately because I so value all of your thoughts and feedback.  Recently, after I wrote “When Femme Fails,” I remember sitting on the couch and and saying to Van:  “It’s amazing. The posts I worry are too theoretical and gendertheorish are precisely the ones that people respond to!”   It happens over and over again but I’m still surprised.  It’s more than your appetite for femme theory that delights me, though; what I really appreciate is that you’re willing to go to places even I had never expected to travel to in this blog.  For example, a few weeks ago when I wrote “Janis: Undoing Femme,” I thought to myself that there wouldn’t be any interest in the post because (1) it’s about Janis Joplin for god’s sake! (2) it’s about the unpretty side of femme–not airbrushed pin-up girls but femmes who are raw, wild, funky and flawed.  After all, what’s sublimely femme about that?”  But I wrote the post anyway, like I always do, because what’s the point of blogging if you aren’t being authentic?  And then, go figure, you guys responded to the whole badass femme thing.  You got it, like you always do.

I love the fact that I can stretch the limits of what we think femme is, and you’re right there with me.  I love that I can write as a femme and a radical about racism, and social inequalities and you write back about your own investment in social change.  I love that this is a space where I can be brainy and beautiful, serious and frivolous–or, as I put it in my last post, equally committed to social justice and cute shoes.

I wish I could have you all over for drinks and toast each and every one of you.  Especially since LaurynX will be 21 soon! 😉

Much love,

SF xo


10 Responses

  1. I think the thing that is most beautiful about those I admire is that they share some of the same core values, and then at the same time, they challenge me to think outside of my own pre-existing set of norms and either A) Throw them out the window completely B) Question where I got them from…which usually prompts a great counterdiscussion or backconversation or C) Jump up and down that I have found other people who are smart, interested in the pretty AND the fascinating and committed to thinking because its almost as crucial as breathing. Evolution is here ladies…and while it took 8 years of a challenging presidency (I am making light here) it has helped prepare a great number of our friends. family, students, and neighbors for the enormous change that is upon us.
    **SF I posted my thoughts about our new pres too…

    I love your optimism! And the image of you jumping up and down in your Kenneth Coles. xo SF

  2. You shouldn’t be surprised at all! There’s something so exciting (but also comforting) about having all these fragments knocking around in my head articulated by someone else – clearly, then expanded on and put into new contexts. Reading some of your posts is like seeing a painting someone made of a dream that you can’t quite remember. And that may sound a bit over the top, but it is incredible to have found not only a gender that “fits,” but also a community of people who’ve figured at least some things out before me and made the way quite a bit easier.

    Aww… I’m truly touched. How lovely you are. xo SF

  3. I don’t think that sounds over the top at all, sarcozona…it’s exactly how I feel, too.

  4. You’re fantastical and brave! I’m so glad that, despite a sliver or avalanche of worry or doubt here and there, you post what you damn well please.

    I was just thinking how lovely drinks would be. I bet you know of a delicious bourbon that is perfectly fit for a femme!

  5. Skinny…I submit for your approval the bourbon I think is perfect for a femme…

    Buffalo Trace Experimental Collection Chardonnay Aged Bourbon, 14 year old, 45%, $50/375ml
    Aged in French oak chardonnay barrels for eight years after six years in new charred oak. Notes of vanilla, crème brûlée, butterscotch, toasted coconut, bright fruit, and polished oak. Clean, gently sweet finish. The chardonnay oak aging adds a new dimension without dominating. A distinctive, stylish whisky with excellent balance.

    Pricey….but an elegant bourbon for an elegant femme

  6. The theoretical ones are my favorite.

  7. aww, thanks for the shout-outs!
    as far as the theoretical posts…I like thinking a lot. It’s a hobby of mine, so it’s all good.

    I’ve been busy lately so not much time to comment :(, but I’ve definitely been reading.

  8. What a sweet blog (blogger)–theoretical femme philosophy that is truly femme *cheers*


  9. oh dear…I just realized that you mentioned me. Please forgive my tardiness in my dropping by and presenting my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now about that drink you mentioned….let’s settle in and discuss the softer and gentler side.

  10. grrlchef13, ZOMG!

    I only just now saw your recommendation – it sounds delicious. I shall alert the tomboy! Danke, danke!

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