Sublimefemme Tells All, No. 30

Sublimefemme has contracted a terrible case of gay fatigue and has taken to her bed, where she’s sipping herbal tea and getting some much-needed rest and relaxation thanks to various mother’s little helpers.

PS  I lied about the herbal tea but the gay fatigue, I swear, is totally real.  It’s positively exhausting being as gay as I am, darlings!

Mow My Lawn, Please!

Would someone come over to my house and mow my lawn for me, pretty please?!   Van has been called away on a family emergency and the front lawn is getting a little…bushy.   The problem is, I’ve never even touched a lawn mower, much less cut grass.  I’ll admit, I’m pretty good at “trimming the hedges” but I suspect these are not transferrable skills 😉

Can’t get enough mowing-the-lawn double entendres?  Then you’ll love this commercial, which begins and ends with a woman caressing her pussy.  The only thing that would make it better is if Ru Paul were in it!

Get Looped, Dahling

“Daddy warned me about men and alcohol.  But he never warned me about women and cocaine.”  –Tallulah Bankhead

Dahlings, send a video of yourself doing your best Tallulah Bankhead impersonation for a chance to win a trip for 2 to NY, tickets to see Looped on Broadway, a backstage visit with Valerie Harper, two nights stay at the fabulous and legendary Algonquin Hotel, and more!  I’ve stayed at the Algonquin and can attest to its fabulousity.

Here’s another of my favorite Tallulah quotes for inspiration:

“I’ll come and make love to you at five o’clock. If I’m late start without me.”

THE SCOOP ON GETTING LOOPED:

  • Videos should be 15 seconds or less.
  • Submissions will be accepted through April 30th, 2010.
  • Winner to be chosen and notified on May 4th, 2010.
  • Click here for information on how to enter your video.
  • Click here to watch Tallulah film and TV clips!
  • Glitter in Their Eyes

    “As far as I’m concerned, being any gender is a drag.”

    –Patti Smith

    Contrary to popular opinion, glamour isn’t pretty.  It’s not all about glitz and gold lamé, kids.  And although it may be mysterious, there’s really nothing evanescent about glamour.  Glamorous people–and even objects–are unmistakable.  My point here is simple; we all instantly recognize glamour when we see it, even when it takes unpredictable forms.

    Case in point, punk icon, writer, and artist Patti Smith, who channels a gritty, bohemian glamour into everything she does.  I love her androgynous “uniform”–the skinny tie, white shirt, and mannish black jacket–which she’s been wearing since the 70s with an anarchistic insouciance that borders on antistyle. What could be more glamorous than that?

    PS  “Glitter in Their Eyes” appears on Smith’s album Gung Ho (2000).