PC Lesbians

Why are lesbians so self-righteous in their political correctness?   Why is it that garden-variety lesbians can have such a difficult time seeing the complexity of my gender or the gender of my (butch) partner?   Honestly, I’m tired of it.  Today a twenty-something dyke told me that “younger lesbians” aren’t into butch/femme because it reproduces heterosexist roles. Hardly a new critique, of course.  We’ve all heard it a million times before.  But there was something about the way she made this sweeping generalization that made me feel angered, alienated, and old–all at once!  Thank you!  (The funny thing is, I actually like the person who said this to me….)  Here’s what I wish lesbians could remember:   all of us internalize dominant sex/gender norms. Political correctness does not inoculate you from heteronormativity.

There’s more I could say about all of this, but I have to go cook dinner and do my nails. 😉


13 Responses

  1. What about the twenty something year old dykes that are in butch/femme couples? Speaking as one, I always get more than a little annoyed when I’m shoved out of my age group for being “backwards”.

    • Same here – I’m a 20-something femme and I’m not impressed by the sweeping generalizations our generation makes about butch/femme. I thought we were supposed to be the accepting, love everyone group?

  2. It is my opinion that all relationships irregardless of sexual orientation are actually negotiated, however subliminally, on a D/s basis.

    I have found that I have taken on different “roles” in each relationship that I have been in, and that I have even found my role to change depending on what was needed at the time.

    Just an observation.


  3. This is a tired argument, I agree! Back in the 70’s, I felt that what was going on was an aversion to sexuality on the part of PC lesbians-almost “throwing out the baby with the bath water”. Now, I’m sure there are lesbians whose psyches groove with androgyny and I wish them well. But my observation is that even these lesbians usually engage in some type of “role playing” in the bedroom. And then there is the old syndrome, lesbian bed death. Could part of that be the refusal to truly claim ones gender??
    I appreciate this site and others like it for raising these issues!

  4. Ah, the certainty of youth – that one’s own position/identity/experience-of-being-in-the-world is – or should be – shared by all… humph!

    30-something jaded femme x

  5. i hate to point out that lack of a butch or femme identity does not alleviate one of gender, and as such of some connection to dominant, heterosexist gender norms.

    also, that heterosexual is not the same as heterosexist. for the sake of my straight friends, god forbid!

    however, as a twenty-something dyke, i can’t help but note that younger lesbians are simply not into butch/femme. *sigh*

  6. I”m a young femme lesbian, and I think there are plenty of us into the butch femme dynamic.

    But we may not call them that. They would be called studs , bois ect while lesbians like myself would still be called femme.

    I don’t know. I think she is over generalizing/ just got of a woman studies class.

  7. I hear ya. In my early 20’s I wasn’t butch or femme- I was in the middle. If I wanted to wear lipstick or paint my nails I would think twice, what would my friends think? If I wore heels I felt like I was succumbing to “the man.” I even had to “come out” to them as liking butches and I feared they’d tease me. Now in my late 20’s these same friends have become butch, become femme, become more of whatever they were not-so-sure-of in the past.

    I think something must be said for growing into yourself, growing up, and growing into the role you want in a relationship- whatever role that may be.

  8. Hi!
    My name is Clara and I study Advertising and PR in the University of Girona (Catalonia). We were asked to create a blog about whatever we wanted. I chose LGBT news as my topic. We were asked to get in touch with people who, in some way, were related to our blog and encourage them to comment our posts, follow us or add us on their blogrolls. As you will see it’s in Catalan, but there’s a translator in English which is quite reliable ^^ However, in some time I try to translate it myself 😉

    I found your blog and I thought you could be interested 😉

    Here’s the link:

    I really hope you like it.
    Thanks for your time 😉

  9. I think the GLBT community suffers from the same reliance on binary logic as straights when it comes to gender and orientation and most everything else. Yes, putting everyone in a round peg makes life easier to understand, but it is often incorrect. You are who you are; you love who you love.

  10. BTW, my understanding is the gay men in my area have decided all “femme” is out as it back dated and, perhaps, embrassing.

  11. I wish everyone would just step out of the box.

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