To You, Wonderful Femmes

Dear grrlchef, sarcozona, Lady Brett Ashley, Skinny Bone Jones, the hostess, LaurynX and my other fantastic readers,  

To the wonderful femmes named, you have no idea how much I appreciate your encouraging comments on my last post, “Social Justice and Cute Shoes.”  It’s so fantastic for me to be able to convey the diversity and complexity of my interests and commitments–to convey all of who I am–and discover, much to my delight, that these are interests, concerns, and commitments that I share with so many of you. 

There’s something else all of you probably have no idea about–how often I come up with an idea for a post or am in the middle of writing up an idea and think to myself, “This one will never fly. It’s too theoretical, or it’s too serious, or…”  The other day, I thought to myself that I wouldn’t get much of a response to my Martin Luther King/social justice post, because–good god–I’m talking about racism, imperialism and economic inequality!  Does anyone really come to Sublimefemme Unbound for that?!

I wish I could name everyone who’s been commenting lately because I so value all of your thoughts and feedback.  Recently, after I wrote “When Femme Fails,” I remember sitting on the couch and and saying to Van:  “It’s amazing. The posts I worry are too theoretical and gendertheorish are precisely the ones that people respond to!”   It happens over and over again but I’m still surprised.  It’s more than your appetite for femme theory that delights me, though; what I really appreciate is that you’re willing to go to places even I had never expected to travel to in this blog.  For example, a few weeks ago when I wrote “Janis: Undoing Femme,” I thought to myself that there wouldn’t be any interest in the post because (1) it’s about Janis Joplin for god’s sake! (2) it’s about the unpretty side of femme–not airbrushed pin-up girls but femmes who are raw, wild, funky and flawed.  After all, what’s sublimely femme about that?”  But I wrote the post anyway, like I always do, because what’s the point of blogging if you aren’t being authentic?  And then, go figure, you guys responded to the whole badass femme thing.  You got it, like you always do.

I love the fact that I can stretch the limits of what we think femme is, and you’re right there with me.  I love that I can write as a femme and a radical about racism, and social inequalities and you write back about your own investment in social change.  I love that this is a space where I can be brainy and beautiful, serious and frivolous–or, as I put it in my last post, equally committed to social justice and cute shoes.

I wish I could have you all over for drinks and toast each and every one of you.  Especially since LaurynX will be 21 soon! 😉

Much love,

SF xo

New Year’s Dos and Don’ts


Happy New Year, darlings!   Forget about the resolutions, there are only 3 questions you need to ask yourself on New Year’s Eve:  (1) what to drink  (2) what to wear (3) who to kiss. 

What To Drink

I had quite a few delicious Manhattans and a fantastic Knob Creek Old-Fashioned over the holidays, but for NYE even I put aside my beloved bourbon for champagne.  I’m a fan of the classic Champagne Cocktail.   People forget about how festive they are, but every single time I go out and order one, I swear I start a trend at the bar!   For an especially lovely version, try a Marilyn Monroe Champagne Cocktail:

one shot apple brandy (or mix a little apple juice with regular brandy)
dash of grenadine


What To Wear

The Philosophy of Sublime Femmeness is that it’s impossible to overdress on New Year’s Eve.  No one else is wearing a tiara?  Their loss!  NYE only comes once a year, so you might as well live a little.  

YES:  anything shimmery, black lace, bold lips, metallic makeup, cashmere, false eyelashes, faux-fur wrap or shrug, winter white

NO:  bubble dresses, black nails, oversized jewelry, undefined brows, excessive matchiness, little black dress that’s too little

Who To Kiss

Anyone, really.  Just throw yourself at the nearest cutie, since you can always blame it on the booze later!  Since I’m an extremely lucky girl, I’ll be kissing my debonair escort at the midnight hour. 

Time to go, my lovelies.  I’m off to take a bubble bath and get ready for the festivities.  Hope you all have a wonderful evening.  Wishing you a sublime new year!!  xoxo SF