PC Lesbians

Why are lesbians so self-righteous in their political correctness?   Why is it that garden-variety lesbians can have such a difficult time seeing the complexity of my gender or the gender of my (butch) partner?   Honestly, I’m tired of it.  Today a twenty-something dyke told me that “younger lesbians” aren’t into butch/femme because it reproduces heterosexist roles. Hardly a new critique, of course.  We’ve all heard it a million times before.  But there was something about the way she made this sweeping generalization that made me feel angered, alienated, and old–all at once!  Thank you!  (The funny thing is, I actually like the person who said this to me….)  Here’s what I wish lesbians could remember:   all of us internalize dominant sex/gender norms. Political correctness does not inoculate you from heteronormativity.

There’s more I could say about all of this, but I have to go cook dinner and do my nails. 😉

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She’s so butch! Butch/Femme video

“I like butch girls and I cannot lie!”  So say the self-described “hyper fly ladies” of  TEAM GINA as they show their appreciation for butches “on behalf of the queer femme nation.” 

I came across this lighthearted video, which features the Seattle-based duo Team Gina with Cindy Wonderful, on The New Gay.  I like the whole ironic homohop thing, but the video actually struck me as very 90s. And very white.  Kinda sweet, kinda problematic–but funny anyway. Thoughts? 

This Quiz Sucks

The lovely Skinny Bone Jones has posted about how she and her loverbird M recently took one of those “ridiculous” (I’m quoting her) butch/femme quizzes.  You can read about their reaction to the quiz and find out about the marriages it almost wrecked here 😉

The half-baked butch/femme quiz…  We know they’re awful and that we’ll  glean absolutely no useful insights from them and yet who can resist?   But, I must say, this one takes the cake.  It’s so ill-conceived it’s not really worth writing a post about, but I just have to express my dissent.  (Yes, I’m dissenting to a quiz.  So there.)  The authors say the quiz is just for fun, but if you’re going to post a quiz on the internet that purports to evaluate people’s gender identities, shouldn’t you take some responsibility for what you’re putting out in the world? 

Here’s my beef.  First, some of the questions just don’t make sense or don’t have anything to do with gender, like this one:

<<When looking for a phone number you are more likely to:
 1.Call and ask a friend who has it
 2.Look it up in the phone book
 3.Look it up in your address book/rolladex
 4.Call information
 5.Skip calling all together>>

Ridiculous.  What is the implication here?  Femmes are lazy?  Butches don’t know how to use a phone book?  I have no idea.

Second, the quiz is hopelessly outdated.  There is no recognition of lesbian gender in general and femme as a queer gender in particular.   Skinny is absolutely right about the Leave It to Beaver version of femininity that undergirds the quiz.   Their chart suggests that femme is soft, weak, etc and butch is strong, hard, etc.  I’m so over these tired steretypes.

It’s obviously written by people who have no clue about femininity or femme.  For example, take a look at this question:

<<If FORCED to wear eye shadow, what color would you wear:
 1.blue
 2.brown
 3.You’d have to consult your colorist
 4.a color that matches your skin tone exactly
 5.purple>>

It took me ages to figure out that #4 is the butch answer.  The authors don’t seem to realize that tone (warm or cool) does not equal color.  So you actually want to match you skin tone when selecting makeup colors!   

I scored exactly the same as Skinny:  Strong Femme.  According to the authors’ chart, that’s basically an “androgynous” femme.  Since their ideas about gender are archaic, “strong” means kinda butchy for them.  But no worries, my lovelies.  I’m happy and proud to be a strong femme.  Strong enough to say that this quiz sucks.